I love you Liey and Sweet Pea

I don't have skeletons in my closet as some would say. I never hide anything about my life and I tend to even tell some of my more personal moments as it could always relate to someone else's life. Reading other peoples indescretions, actually let's say moments of truth has gotten me through some of the more tougher aspects of my life. I've shared before about my previous miscarriages but right now I'm going to share what I went through emotionally. Yes I can be emotional just ask my husband, he's seen it. A very private side of me just because it's a side I don't tend to share with many, that's just me. I have experienced two miscarriages. One was tougher than the other for the simple fact that it occurred at 12 weeks and I had a D & C performed. I left the hospital that day, thankful that I had a son waiting for me at home but at the same time I questioned God. Why would he do this to anyone? Why would he allow his own to go through this pain? Why when I can provide an awesome home for one of his miracles? Unfortunately I will probably never get an answer to any of these questions, at least not on this earth. You see my four children, yes I consider myself to have four, my husband and I prayed for, cried for, and have experienced heartbreak for. You never get an answer that you want and even if that answer does come it never takes the pain away from the experience. Now since I have experienced such heartbreak, how does this play into my life? I hold a baby and it is a miracle, a blessing, a true gift from God, even if it isn't my own. I can say that my miscarriages have molded me to be the parent that I am. Am I a better parent than you? No. But I am a parent who doesn't get stressed over the small stuff! So what if my kids decided to shed their clothes and go swimming in the wheel barrel in the middle of winter. Just dry em off and bring em back in. I do not yell at my children, I have lost my cool a time or two yes, but I always gather it instantly and apologize to them. Don't get me wrong we discipline but not everything needs to be disciplined. My children are sweet, energetic, loving, and for the most part mind their manners. And my only goal in life, other than to teach the word of God, is to enjoy them. Because every time I look at their picture or see their smiling face, I remember the days of crying, heartbreak and sadness that my husband and I went through together in order to bring these two babies into this world. Each experience was different but each experience has made us the parents we are. I will never understand why people have to loose a child regardless of if he/she was just conceived or whether they are 40. All I know is it has been worth the heartache, the crying, oh and can I say the money to be able to raise and know God's most precious blessing.

18 month pictures

Li wanted his picture made-but he refused to smile.

By far this is my favorite and so her.

I took both kids to have their pictures made today. My goals was Sweet Pea's 18 month and then Christmas pics if she cooperated. I knew before we started that she was going to be uncooperative but she did give us a few good pictures. Li wanted his picture made but refused to smile, it still turned out adorable. However I still have to go back and get Christmas pictures-not looking forward to that but I always love the end result.

Seen and Heard:

Just a small note about our Sweet Pea growing up. She can now frequently say "Come on" with vigor i might add! She also has "Here Ya Go" down pat.

Halloween

I'm really glad Halloween is now over but we did have weeks of fun! We went to the pumpkin patch, mostly for pictures but we ended up with 4 pumpkins at home!

We also went to 3 trunk or treats, 1 fall festival, and an evening of trick or treating in the Luckie's neighborhood. Needless to say we have lots and lots of candy that will be making it's way to my work! Li was a handsome fireman and Sweet Pea was a lady bug. When we went to trick or treat in the Luckie's neighborhood, Li gets out of our car and says he is going to scare Mr. Brad and he puts on a werewolf mask that Chris brought with us. Needless to say Li ended up being the one scared. Mr. Brad came out of the bushes-thank Jesus i knew he was there otherwise we both would have been scared! Li told Brad he couldn't wear that in the house! And ever since he's been slightly skiddish of the dark? Hopefully it'll pass, he drew a dark picture of a monster at church today-of all places, maybe we left it at church!

Just my size.

I want this one!

Nanna's girl!

Enjoying the jumpies at the pumpkin patch

The handsome fireman.

My cute little lady bug.

Enjoying her candy!

Playhouse Disney

It has definitely been a while since I've posted hence the back to back I'm now having to do! We went to playhouse disney for sweet pea's sake, she loves mickey mouse clubhouse, but we all enjoyed ourselves. I'd be lying if I didn't say this: I was slightly disappointed, however mommy was expected a bigger reaction from my two children. On the way home I asked Li if he had fun and he told me he did. I said why didn't you smile. His response: I don't like smiling! I asked well what was sweet pea's problem. Big brother responded her was scared. Chris asked him if she told him that and he said no, I just know! Such a good big brother. Wish he would have told us that so we could have comforted those fears!

See what I mean-he does not look thrilled to be there!

Bribed with a toy?

Checking out Minnie Mouse.

MMMM I love Minnie!

Fair

We took the kids to the fair with Josie and Jolie. I totally did not know what to expect and was quite surprised that Li wanted to ride everything, even the big kid rides. However sweet pea started crying after we exited the car. Not a surprise she does not like loud noises! After a few minutes of cuddling with mommy and some gentle persuasion she calmed down and went back in the stroller where she seemed to enjoy her afternoon. She did seem slightly left out since she wasn't old enough to ride anything. But all in all we had a great afternoon.

He doesn't like cotton candy! I am one proud mommy, that has to be like the worst food ever.

Sweet Pea watching from the sidelines, she still managed a smile.

A mother's Amusement

As a mother it doesn't take much to amuse me. My children are my entertainment and being a mother is my greatest accomplishment in life. I pride myself on my children's eating habits. Chris and I always said we would not cook 2 meals; 1 for us and 1 for our children and to this date we haven't. My kids will eat almost anything; it's awesome! I always have fresh fruits and veggies on hand for them, they vary from week to week but there is something fresh and healthy in our fridge, always. This is why my food budget is outrageous, why would you charge so much for something so healthy-it makes no sense to me but what's a mom to do. Each week I mull through the produce section, typically buying what's on sale or what I know my kids want everyday. We always have grapes, apples, usually strawberries, salad, and carrots. This week I decided to buy tomatoes for our hamburgers. I usually forget these just because I'm not a huge tomato eater, I do like them but I'm not going to eat them by themselves. My children have a different outlook on tomatoes. Sweet Pea saw me walking through the kitchen with a plum tomato and she proceeds to climb my leg and jibber jabber the entire time. Obviously explaining to me why I should give her this beautiful tomato NOW! Because the jibber soon turned to screams. This sent my 3 year old running, afraid he's going to miss the chaos, in which time he proceeds to stuff his face with the freshly sliced tomatoes that I was preparing to give his sister. I took this moment to look at how deprived my children were! Mas chaos over a small veggie, yes they may cost $2.50 a piece but hey what are kids for. I must now figure out how to explain that we are entering "winter" and the fresh fruits and veggies just don't taste as well. I wonder if they care?